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Thursday, May 16, 2013

In His Mind: Vin Diesel Feels Facebook Owes Him $1Billion



Serious question: when is the world going to appreciate Vin Diesel for the precious gift that he is? How many dumb action movies does he have to make before we acknowledge all he's done for us? When is it going to be Vin's time to shine, huh?

Well, not right now, that's for sure. Because right now, Vin Diesel is complaining that Facebook hasn't paid him for having a relatively popular Facebook page:

"What Facebook didn't realize is something very big was about to happen, and that was—for the first time in history, and it's kind of a fluke they didn't see this coming—when I jumped on that page in April 2009, I started talking to people. In the realest ways. Imagine, if you could've been a Facebook friend to Marlon Brando, or whoever your role models are. Imagine, if you were able to Facebook Elvis, and talk to him, and hear from him without the Hollywood of it all. So, when I started talking to the fans, I became the No. 1 page in the world. Over Coca-Cola, over huge companies. And it was only because I said: 'Hi, guys, I love you.'
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"Facebook used to ask me to come up to their office to explain what the f--- I was doing, and why I had so many fans. I never let anyone do a post, I never let anyone post for me in the last four years. My audience knows me so well on the page that if my producing partner's in the room when I post, they'll know somebody was around me. That's kind of cool, that's how sophisticated they are. Facebook really owes me billions of dollars. But whatever."

OK, so to summarize, Vin Diesel thinks he's like Marlon Brando and Elvis, he's innovative for talking to is fans like they're real people, and Facebook owes him billions of dollars, but ha ha, no big deal, you're welcome. Is that really what he thinks? Because Vin here is usually pretty adorable, but maybe he inhaled too many fumes while filming "Fast & Furious 1001" or whatever. Nobody owes him billions of dollars for anything.

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