Two weeks ago, Alex’s wife had the audacity to come and harass me to leave her husband alone! It wasn’t a pleasant experience but I will love to inform her and every other married women who go harassing their husbands’ girlfriends that they are only re-engineering us to continue to serve their husbands better, while they lose him further!
If today’s your first time of reading Single’s Bliss, let me give you a brief recap. Alex is a married man who is ‘madly in love with me’. He will do anything for me and is the source of the utility sports car I drive. At the moment, he is checking out apartments for me on the Island here in Lagos State and has promised to not only buy me the property of course in my name, but furnish it with choice furniture. Yes, I am into him and visa-a-vis. But let me make it clear, I don’t have any intention of marrying him, as he is simply my ATM while his friend is now my serious boyfriend. Call me bad babe, you won’t be the first, but helping him to shine my Congo properly has been making our worlds go round. Mischievous grin.
Again, let me state, I have never prepared any meal for Alex since he started flying my logo yet he keeps coming after me. I no dey use juju, I simply apply the real ideology which states: the real way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach, it’s below his navel! Oh yeah! He’s kept coming after me since the first time he flogged me with his third leg! Lest I forget, I gave it to him wella and set him coming for more!
Get it straight ye married woman, it is wonderful to be married and every single babe out there is looking forward to doing same but take this straight from me: even if you prepare the best meals for your husband and don’t allow him shine your Congo properly, he WILL wonder off your path. In short, your subsequent nagging lines will not retrace his mind as it would only make him stumble fairly and away quicker and farther! And you know definitely where he would perch…in the more caring arms and laps of REAL BABES!
See me see trouble o! I was on my way to the studio to resume afternoon shift when I made a stop at the Ikeja Shopping Mall. I was about driving out of the premises when this short and very dark unkempt faced woman rushed up to me and started ranting: “leave my husband alone you husband snatcher!!!” The thing was clapping and head bent on making a scene. I was dumbfounded when she introduced herself as Alex’s wife. Kai! See disappointment written all over my face.
My backside is prettier than her face while she looks like the carved juju some people serve! Trust me naa! I didn’t waste my energy on her; I simply started my engine and the speed with which I zoomed off sent her the warning that: if you jump in my front, at your own risk!
I really don’t get it o! Why do handsome guys like Alex end up with such women? While driving back to the office, I couldn’t help imagining how and where Alex met the juju he calls wife. She is not gifted frontally and her backside no even try. I know some women who are less privileged at the front and back at least have very cute faces but this Alex own get as e be. Nothing at all! Her face is like someone gulping 100 litres of bitter leaf juice at gun point! Maybe na juju she take marry Alex and unfortunately, jazz are like medicines off the shelf – they have expiry dates!
Immediately I got to the studio, I found myself changing my topic for the day. Guess what I discussed instead? I asked a very simple question: What would you do if you know your husband’s cheating on you and you know his girlfriend? Na wa o! Our Nigerian women lack finesse! I not only recorded the highest phone calls that day, married women called swearing during the live programme and many of them went as far as mentioning their husbands’ girlfriends’ names on air while sending threatening messages to them.
I asked a follow-up question which virtually all the callers avoided and tried to downplay but I know I scored a major goal. Wondering what it is? Very simple: How often do you allow him do the thing and how often do you update and change your styles? They feigned ignorance but I was only being real o!
My dearly beloved married sister, I know I am single so you might not want to take me serious but if you’ll overlook that aspect and wholeheartedly swallow next week Sunday’s guide that I will be supplying you, then you’ll be on a major route of SOLELY OWNING your husband for good! Get a copy of Sunday Mirror next week for the no-hold-back session. But remember: Good meals alone don’t keep a man at home; you need more than that to SOLELY OWN him!
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