I'm in a state of total devastation and I know that i'll never get as low as this anymore in my life. This is one pathetic story of a lesson well learnt.
I got into University at 20yrs and after a couple of weeks I started a relationship with a 16yr old girl. We were everything to each other and gave it our all.
We had our 1st s-éx abt 3months l8r and as she said, I was her 1st even tho she had had a couple of intimate experiences none had led to seéx b4 then and that made me want to spend the rest of my life making sure no one else did. I must say that I started to Love her completely and genuinely after our 1st lovemaking.
Now, months went by and things happened in our relationship that make us fight, argue and quarrel on a daily basis and on flimsy excuses or reasons. We were barely compatible but we wanted to make it work so we always made up and continued the struggle.
Continue.........................
The problems began too much and we lived like Tom and Jerry, too much alike and too much apart. Both of us were stubborn and strong-willed to a silly extent. People began to hate the idea of us sticking together but we Loved each other still and couldn't be apart.
Along the line, I got really fed up and wanted out desperately but didnt make a move out. I still didn't cheat or do anything compromising to hurt her feelings irreconciliably cos I did want a future with her.
I've never been strong on the marriage thing and had no imaginations for it as I thought it too complicated. I have very strong trust issues and a loathsome spirit of jealousy as well that she later described as totally unbearable.
I dreaded her being with any other male and I didnt want her to have any male friends for whatever reason cos I saw it as a chance that she could cheat on me or let the other person hurt our struggling relationship. I had female friends tho and a best female friend she couldnt bear cos she knew the girl was in love with me but I wouldnt listen to her.
I became a beast to her and treated her like we were enemies sometimes but she perserved and took my crap. We did alot to make the relationship work and made alot of sacrifices for each other but I now that for some strange unexplainable factors, we never put in our best into it.
I was dating her despite my mother's agonising pleading not to and let me say here that I love my mother as much as I love myself and that's above everything here but I held on to that relationship because of the accrued attachments, s-éx and the sacrifices we had both given.
Eventually, She cheated on me during and it hurt cos I felt it and begged her to stop which she eventually did tho she never said what really went down till later on when it had become too complicated to take.
She gave in to a divorcee during our industrial trianing (I.T) cos we worked at different places and somehow I just felt it cos my soul took signals and I developed chest pain and almost had high blood pressure, at about 22yrs!!
I eventually broke up with her after her confession and after much begging, weeping and agony I took her back but couldnt get over the fact that she cheated tho the worst was that she kissed the man. It hurt cos I knew it was gonna happen and had warned and begged her to be wise as such wouldnt last more than s-éxual escapades for the guy.
Months later, I met someone else that was everything I dreamt of and wanted in a woman b4 I adjusted to that relationship. We were friends but things got heated and we fell into attractions and started dating after I asked her out. I didnt tell her my gf was still in the picture tho I told her how she cheated and hurt me.
She also just fell out of a abusive relationship where the guy only wanted s-éx and I really wanted to make a difference to her and love her with all I had and I eventually broke up with the old girl. Being members of the same course it began had to live without her and soon I was back into a s-éxual relationship with her all over again.
I so didnt want to hurt my new gf so I kept the truth from her tho my old gf knew all abt her and eventually called her to tell her but I twisted the facts till I was cheating on both of them with each other. I thought I could eat my cake and have it still.
The whole thing got messed up and complicated tho, my real gf found out I didnt break with the oda girl and called her up to threathen her to leave which she did till I begged her again and she fell back in. I went back to school and had s-éx with my real gf, i was such a fool!
Now two weeks ago after I left school, the morning after I had s-éx with my gf all night I left for home. She later came to see me after some days but said she was scared she was pregnant so we didnt have s-éx.
When she came in from school, I decided to give her a break cos I felt it in me dat she no longer wanted to be with me and I was paraniod she'll cheat like she did the last time so we agreed to have 2months break till we resumed back from this year's I.T tho she wanted us to keep having s-éx. Said we will be "Booty Call Partners".
To cap it all, last Sunday I begged her to come and see me so she did and after we talked she told me she had met someone else. I acted cool tho I was dying inside! She then told me while we where trying to make love that she had had the urge s-éx with someone else and almost did!!
Later the next day, I proposed to her after begging her and the refused. Thats when she told me that she had s-éx with someone else! The sting from that is totally unimaginable! Its been hurting me like there is a fire in my chest.
I thought she was joking but till now she insists she isnt. I have wept like a baby till tears arent coming out of my eyes and I havent slépt a wink in days cos i'm dying inside me. I begged her to come back despite the s-éx she has had but she has rejécted me.
Right now I dont know what to do because I have given the new girl up for her and i'm ready to live right till I die but she wont even listen to me, I even asked her to come back despite the fact that she slépt with someone else repeatedly and I never did same. Please how do I move on with my life?
We're in the same department in school and I will be seeing her everyday after we resume. I dont know how to cope cos I always gave her a second chance but she has thrown me out forever despite all we've been through.
Please I need psychological help, how do I move on or what to I do? If I take her back i'll never get over her sleéping with someone else!! Please HELP ME.
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