I married Prisca 11 years ago. She was a young, intelligent and beautiful woman. Although, she is more educated than me, it never meant anything to us. While she had a master’s degree in Business Administration, I had a bachelor’s in Marketing. We were very close friends and talked about everything.
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She had a better job and earned more than me but at least I was able to give her money for food and other important things she needed. Sometimes, she complained about the amount I gave but I usually told her I was looking for a better job. She quite understood this and I loved her even more for that. At least my children were well taken care of and they went to one of the best private schools in the neighbourhood.
When it comes to sèx, I try as much as possible to satisfy her whenever she wants it even though I am not much of a romantic person. I put myself in the mood just to satisfy her. I had never denied her sèx because she made it clear to me before we got married that she loved sèx. We had three beautiful children in five years. But now it’s clear why she rushed having children. In our fifth year, fortunately, I got a better job. I was happy and excited because I could comfortably provide for my adorable wife and. It made me feel more comfortable being the man of the house.
Two months later, Prisca resigned from her job without telling me for the simple reason that I now earned more than her, hence, I would be able to take care of the home comfortably. “Gideon, I dropped my resignation letter,” she said. “But why would you do that without discussing with me first?” I asked. “My darling husband earns so much now, so why should I continue working?” she revealed. Since I didn’t want to engage in any quarrel with her, I asked her what her next plan was. “So, what is your next plan?” I asked. “I am going to be a fulltime housewife,” she replied. I urged her to go into business but she said her decision was final and I must provide for all her needs.
I became worried about her new attitude. She changed overnight and refused to spend a kobo at home, even for items as little as no matches. She would wait for me to return or take it on credit and ask me for the money once I got home. Whenever she wanted to travel, all expenses were now left for me. I didn’t complain since she was taking adequate care of our children.
After the birth of our last child, Prisca started denying me of my conjugal right. She gave me different kinds of excuses. Sometimes she would tell me she was tired after picking the kids from school, spending time with them, helping out with their school work, preparing their food, doing the house chores.
At other times, she would insist she has a headache and needed rest so that she could wake up early and prepare the children for school. With these complaints, I suggested that we should get a house help. She said it was not a good idea because she did not want any small girl to snatch her husband. Sometimes I shed tears because I don’t womanise as I believe in one sticking to one’s partner once married. How can my wife deny me of my conjugal right and she knows that I am not into women. Sometimes, I go on my knees to plead with her but she gives me the same answer. One day, I asked her to tell me what the main problem was. “Prisca, why do you deny me my conjugal right? What is the matter? Is there something I no longer do right? Please tell me. We have not been intimate for six years, is it normal for us as a married couple? I am a man and I have blood flowing in my veins. I know that marriage is between the man and the woman. Besides, I cannot imagine myself making love to another woman because of my Christian upbringing.” She sat on the bed starring at me without uttering a word. I noticed that she took joy in seeing me shed tears.
Three months ago, she told me she was tired of being a housewife, and as such wanted to start searching for a job. I saw that as a welcome idea. I supported and encouraged her in whatever would make her happy. She went for a few interviews and she told me there was hope of getting a job. We had two cars but she told me she was tired of hers and without telling me, she sold it and demanded to start using mine. I practically left the car for her so that she could run around with it while I went to work in a cab. For the last interview she attended, the car was not in good condition, and since she insist ed that she could not go through the hassles of entering public transport, I had to call the mechanic to fix it immediately.
I was expecting to hear good news from her concerning the interview but instead I got the most shocking letter in my life when I got home. When I arrived home that evening, my children told me they were hungry and that sounded strange to me. “How can you be hungry? Where is your mother?” I asked. My eldest child told me that she packed a big suitcase and took some other things, locked them inside the house and left. She did not tell them where she was going. I promised to prepare them dinner immediately. When I entered into the bedroom, there was a letter on the bed with my name inscribed on it. Tears dripped down my eyes as I read the letter. It read:
Dear Hilary,
Thank you for all you have done for me but I am tired of the marriage. I want to assure you that you did nothing wrong to me, however, I feel it is time to walk away. I intentionally didn’t want to be intimate with you for six years and I have no apologies because you are boring. I don’t even want to have anything to do with our children because I don’t want them to be a hindrance to my future plan. However, I know you will take good care of them. For your info, I took your travelling bag, your laptop, N50,000 and, of course, the one and only car. But I know you will always manage somehow. Please do not bother to call me. Take care and bye.
–Prisca.
My happiness is that at least she didn’t accuse me of anything. I called her immediately I read the letter but her phone was switched off. I called her the next day, her phone rang but she didn’t pick her call and has not done since then. I don’t even know where she stays or what she is doing. Even if she does not want me anymore, what did our innocent children do to her? The children have been asking of their mother. I lied that she travelled and would soon be back. Since I cannot cope with the children because of my work, I had to employ a nanny who comes at 6 in the morning and closes at 6 in the evening. She has been doing a good job taking care of them. To be continued next week
Naija Gist,Nigeria..
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