I am a young girl in my early twenties, I got a job somewhere September last year after I passed out from one of this affiliated schools where I did a National Diploma program.
Before I started working, I passed through a lot emotionally, physically, mentally and otherwise so this job came as a miracle and a testimony. But barely 2 months into my job, I got very close to my General Manager. He is young and single so am I. One thing led to the other and we started dating.
Now note, he is not the owner of the company but a brother to the owner, so he is third in
command. That aside, before I met this guy, I had been with a guy who stayed with me for 4 years but couldn’t get in between my legs.
Continue..
I was born into a very strict home so at the mention of sex, I run for my life. My ex was tired of waiting so he slept with my flat mate back in school and even got her pregnant. At that time I was able to move on cos my ex was in a different town so it was easy to cut communications. I stayed alone for almost 2 years after my ex till I met this guy. I didn’t stop to think because I so wanted to be in love and have a man to call mine. Barely 4months into the relationship, I give my virginity to him (January 1st precisely) because I thought giving sex will keep him.
But that turned out to be my biggest mistake. He gradually metamorphosed into an indescribable specie. I tried all I could but he always had excuses to treat me bad. On my birthday, he didn’t show up and never even got me handkerchief. In between all this, at least before his change became evident,….
One thing is now we have broken up even though he always tried to stop me from walking away in time past. I just got tired of him insulting and talking me down at every opportunity. Telling me lies and shutting me out of his life, treating me like I was nobody and above all making me just a sex figure in his life. Now that we have broken up, I am so confused cos I don’t know which way forward.
I am just making silly mistakes in my job, I see and I have to report to him everyday. If I quit this job, except by God’s Grace I may not be able to get another good one cos I’m not a graduate. How can I forget and let go of someone I see and work with everyday. I have made a mistake no doubt but where do I go from here. He doesn’t give me trouble yet but I don’t know what to expect. I built my world around this guy and my job and now I feel like am no where in this world.
My mum and step dad doesn’t make coming home rosey, I had no friends apart from him. I work everyday so I practically have no social life. I am living in a hopeless world. In my heart somewhere I wish there is something I can do to get his heart back cos I still love him but somehow I am willing to move on but how can I? He has been flauting several women since after me. I just wish I can take my life to end this whole drama. I’m just 21 and life is already this harsh. No family, No friends, No Love, No education, No Joy, Nothing to live for at all. Please Help me, Please help.
The confusing thing is that he told me I was a girl any man will kill to have in his life and that I did nothing wrong but that he is just confused. I did everything and God knows I never wronged him in anyway. But I can’t place it. When he said he was confused I felt after the break up space he will think but I was wrong cos he has being acting all happy. and he moved on barely a week after.
I am heartbroken and almost going life broken……. Please don’t abuse me, I need help. We all make mistakes.
Heyah !! life is sweet and it goes on. Don't kill yourself !
ReplyDeleteDear confused girl,
ReplyDeleteIt is unfortunate that you are caught in this very complex web of love. Although you disparage your academic qualification, you come off as a sound, intelligent and very articulate woman, and were it not the over-emphasis on paper qualification in Nigeria, you could easily pass for a master's degree holder.
I will talk to you as one who was there and also as a christian.
Many years ago, i met and fell in love with a damsel and helped paid her way through her OND program in one of the polytechnics in Nigeria. We resolved not to have sex while it lasted. As a matter of fact, we had been friends for close to nine years before we began dating and we dated for one year before she broke up with me.
As an undergraduate in one the Nigerian universities, i struggled to pay her school fees and mine. She had no support from her parents or siblings, especially so that she was the second to the last born in a family of eight. But i made sure she lacked nothing and insisted she never disclosed who was responsible for her education and general upkeep.
Well, she left me and i was heartbroken. For about one full year, i couldn't tell anyone, not the least her siblings, because non would believe me. That was 1997. eventually she got married in December 1998 and i gt married in 2000.
When she left, i thought of many options, suicide inclusive. But I read somewhere that: "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
I thought of vengeance, but recalled our Sunday school days that God said: "vengeance is mine, and i will repay".
So i let go. i didn't pray for or against her. I didn't kill myself. i didn't report to any one, just God!
Here is my take.
Your upbringing is probably Christian for your virginity to have meant so much to you to have been kept for so long. You have lost it. Accept the fact. Faith is not denying the facts, but refusing the facts from determining your destiny.
Two, whenever your find yourself in a relationship that breaks up or breaks down, see it as God making efforts to save you from some greater disaster tomorrow.
You would not want to hear what God saved me from when my babe walked out on me. One, there is a persistent death of all husbands of all her sibblings. I guess i would have been dead by now.
For a man to take your virginity and walk away in confusion, i guess you should be content to lose your virginity and not more.
Their family may have been under a spell that would show up sooner rather than later.
In any case, you are a very yourng and intelligient girl, pull your life together and move on.
The guy is poking babes into your face to cover his conscience, the sweetest revenge is to refuse to notice. Live your life girl as if you never met him before.
Don't you watch movies? They kiss and hug and yet have nothing attached.
Consider this guy as one of the courses you have undertaken in the university of life.
Also, there are many schools offering online degree courses and evening classes, get yourself enrolled in one and keep your mind busy.
If you kill yourself today, the sun would still rise tomorrow. The stars would still shine. And your ex would still wed your best friend and produce lovely children.
So live your life again as in this is the first time.
It also seems to me that your parents inculcated a lot of christian virtues in you, go back to God. Matthew 11:28 is apt for you: "come unto me all you that labor and are heavy laden, and i will give you rest.."
I wish you God's best and peace.
Remember to pray the Lord's prayer daily, especially the part that says:"lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil..."
My sister kindly my best advice for you is to be patient and don't kill yourself, he is not your mr right. Mr right is on the way. I wish you all the best
ReplyDeleteWait I don't see why any normal human being would wanna die for a guy. I mean seriously move on be happy when you find the right guy and maybe in 3 to 5 year you get married tell your kids your story
ReplyDeleteHeyah! I wish i could give you a sweet hug now. I don't know you and I have never seen you before but I'm already falling for you. You see that ! Someone somewhere still loves you. Life goes on my sister. Please try to be happy,do the things that makes you happy. Go to the movies, ice cream, go night club , drink like there is no tomorrow. Listen to inspirational music, dance to techno. Just do something, but don't stay in one place thinking about it. Just do the things you like the most, you will see that life is sweeter than you think.
ReplyDeleteI love you.
It has happen before. It will still happen again. You are not the first to experience this, and you may never be the last. Just keep living a happy life no matter the situation. It is not easy but it is very possible. And don't ever forget the place of God in all you do. If no one cares for you Jesus does and always.
ReplyDeleteIt has happened before. It will still happen again. You are not the first to experience this, and you may never be the last. Just keep living a happy life no matter the situation. It is not easy but it is very possible. And don't ever forget the place of God in all you do. If no one cares for you Jesus does and always.
ReplyDeleteRead more: http://naijagist-omoooduarere.blogspot.com/2014/08/death-is-all-i-see-please-help-me.html#ixzz3BmLsleND