My strategies for avoiding séx had run out and so, as the inevitable happened, I simply hoped my boyfriend could not tell that I was enduring, rather than enjoying, our encounter.
John was a virgin when we met, so I assume he did not realise how strange and dysfunctional our perfunctory couplings were.
We'd abstain for months until, finally, he'd start bribing me with gifts to go to bed with him. But I loathed it. I dreaded the foreplay, and the act itself repulsed me. I could only bear it by focusing my mind on something else.
