The latest interview with Punch, Bamidele Faparusi represents Emure/Gbonyin/Ekiti East Federal Constituency at the National Assembly. The legislator has been married to Temitope for eight years. They talked about their union.
When did you get married?
Temitope: We got married on May 14, 2005.
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What was the attraction?
Bamidele: I fell in love with her intelligence. We knew each other from the secondary school— Ode Ekiti High School— which we attended together in Ode Ekiti. We grew up together and we knew ourselves because it was not too large a community. Then, she was one of the brightest in her class. I was also the most brilliant in my class but she was my senior.
Whenever there was any quiz competition, the most brilliant students were selected from different classes and we all met. Though my senior then, I admired her brilliance. After secondary school, I relocated to Lagos to pursue my university admission. Fortunately, I saw her in Lagos too and we were busy with our university admission but later became close. A relationship started and we courted for many years.
Temitope: We were young when we met in secondary school. Then, there was no love but we maintained a platonic friendship. He was the best student in his set and I like brilliant minds. I loved to always interact with them. I was a year his senior but he is older than me in age. After secondary school, we met in Lagos during Christmas in 1990. I realised that he was so big and very handsome. We started talking about our university admission and exchanged addresses. Along the line, we became very close.
Did you know he was going into politics when you got married?
Temitope: From secondary school, he was someone who aired his opinions on issues pertaining to students welfare et all. In the university, he was very active politically and was involved in a lot of Students’ Union activities. At the Federal University of Technology Akure, where he studied Electrical & Electronics Engineering, he was known as Fappy. He contested and won an election as chairman of the hall he resided. He also had a political ideology group but I never knew that he would get to this level in conventional politics.
Any opposition before marriage?
Temitope: Our families didn’t know we were dating but when we declared we wanted to get married, nobody opposed. We are from the same town- we both knew our family members, history, etc. I told my mother a year before we got married and she was happy. His parents were glad too.
Bamidele: My family was happy that I took the right decision because we both come from same state and town.
How has the marriage fared so far?
Bamidele: It has been wonderful and a blessing to me. Though it has not been smooth-, I believe it was ordained by God.
Were there moments you regretted marrying each other?
Bamidele: No. The only time we had crisis was six months into the marriage. The love between us was too strong and I knew I could not afford to lose her and she also thought so. Love conquered that challenge. Divorce or separation should not be an option in marriage. No matter what happens, rule out divorce and face the challenges. That way, love rules and you overcome.
How have you coped with his career in politics?
Temitope: It has not been easy being the wife of a politician. He is hardly at home but I thank God that I am coping well. Though anytime we need him at home, he is there for us. There are instances when I tend to get jealous, I quickly discuss with him and discard any silly thoughts. I have learnt not to jump to conclusions just because of rumours; I allow love fight for me. I see him as the man I knew over 20 years ago. I have handed him over to God and I also pray.
Are there things you do together as a couple?
Bamidele: We talk a lot, we go out on a date without the children, and we pray and share experiences together. Whenever I am in Lagos, we are always together and I hardly go out.
Temitope: We pray together on the phone whenever he is not in Lagos. He is God-fearing and we communicate daily.
Is he romantic?
Temitope: No, he is not the romantic type but I am trying to teach him.
Bamidele: Don’t mind her, I am romantic and we do a lot of things in common. We travel together and anytime I’m in Lagos, I ensure I give her all the attention.
Do you quarrel?
Bamidele: Yes, we do. Any marriage without quarrel lacks sincerity.
What causes quarrel?
Temitope: Anytime I see or hear anything that makes me suspicious, I will ask him and we can quarrel over that.
Bamidele: Women can get unnecessarily jealous. There was a time she saw a text message on my phone which read, ‘Call me, I love you.’ She blew her top but I kept telling her that I don’t know the phone number. She suspected it was a text message from a woman. But if I was seeing any other woman, I would not be putting my phone anywhere in the house for her to scrutinise. I always tell her that no woman can snatch me from her. It was after she had quarrelled with me that she discovered it was a customised message from the network provider. Of course, she apologised profusely.
But normally whenever a quarrel occurs, who is the first to say sorry?
Bamidele: I do but it also depends on who is at fault.
Temitope: He says sorry whenever he is the one at fault but that would be after he would have argued over the issue.
What would you describe as a challenge in your union?
Bamidele: Since I became a legislator, giving adequate attention to my family has been a challenge. Before, as a businessman, I could afford to give her huge amounts of money for monthly housekeep but now, it has reduced. There are so many dependants on my salary and allowances as a politician. There are too many demands and I spend more money. Fortunately, she has shown a lot of understanding and she does not complain. She uses her money for me sometimes too.
Temitope: There are times I want him by my side and he would not be there. But I assure myself that he is serving his country and when he’s through, I will have him back.
Do you still go through your childrens’ school work?
Bamidele: Yes, anytime I am around.
Do you still cook for him?
Temitope: Of course, I still do that. Cooking is my hobby. I am an industrialist and I’m very busy but my home comes first.
What do you think is the secret of a happy home?
Temitope: Love and the fear of God. Also, trust is vital. You should be able to trust each other.
Do you have a joint account?
Temitope: Yes, we have a family account but we both have our individual accounts. We don’t hide anything from each other. I know what is in his accounts.
Are there pet names you call each other?
Temitope: We call each other Honey.
Bamidele: I always call her Honey but there are times I call her mummy.
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